his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
