just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
