allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
