"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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