I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
