Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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