I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
