I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
