i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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