You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
