Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
he was CRYING into my vagina
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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