it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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