just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
