I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
