Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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