I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I think my moral compass just broke
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
