Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
