I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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