i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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