her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
