So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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