I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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