This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
