non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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