I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
