If i come over, it means nothing
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
