just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
