I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
