spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
