i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
