I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize