I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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