i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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