There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Boobs speak an international language.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
