Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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