Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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