here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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