Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
