just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
