Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
