If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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