I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
