why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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