You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
