I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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