you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
