yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
