Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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