lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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