Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
