I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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